One of the Many Things I Suck At – Communicating

My ideal version of my self is someone that’s fun to be with, mostly because I am aware that I am the least fun to be with. I’ve always been the kind that’s silent. I’ve always been a follower. I never planned a party or a nightout on my own. When I am somewhere else aside from my room, that’s because some extrovert dragged me there. Days before a gathering I’d always think ahead and worry of being left alone in a venue full of people. I’d worry that I’d never blend in, that I’d just sit alone in a table while everyone else keeps up with each other – and these are not worries out of blue because I’ve been in that situation for a hundred times since I was a kid. Continue reading One of the Many Things I Suck At – Communicating

Older and Less Wiser

Have you ever felt like you are pinned to your day job with zero progress while the younger generation is out there, conquering the world? What is happening?

To clarify, I am a millennial. I am 22 years old, and I am referring to the people who are 1 to 3 years younger than me who are now looking so accomplished. Not everyone, but most of them. I feel like it wouldn’t take a year for me to have a boss that was my junior in highschool. There really is nothing wrong with that, but the problem is with me. I feel like I am stagnant, like everyone else is freely running, reaching their dreams, but I am still learning how to run. Continue reading Older and Less Wiser

My Thoughts on Alcohol

I have been drunk a number of times – with that, I meant the drunkest among the people I was drinking with. Sure, drinking is fun but most of the time, I instantly regret drinking the moment I wake up a day after that. I have really bad hangovers, probably because of my lifestyle, yet I always manage to convince myself that the hangover will subside, but the memories will last forever.

There are really times when I crave drinking and some people’s company. Sometimes, I don’t crave drinking but when a friend mentions drinks, I just go with the flow and realize that alcohol tastes as good even when I am not craving it. Continue reading My Thoughts on Alcohol

I Built Friendships I Can’t Keep

I haven’t done any research but I’ve heard and seen enough to say that normally, each person has a bestfriend. I never thought that at 21, after all the abilities that I lack, I would end up questioning my ability to keep friends.

When I was a kid, there were a few kids I normally hang out with. I used to think that I had friends, lots of it. I was quite in demand as a playmate. Right now I realize that we were friends because we sat together in class for years or it’s because our moms were friends with each other and we were forced to play as they hang out. Continue reading I Built Friendships I Can’t Keep

Am I Leading A Boring Life?

I’ve been told many times that my life is boring and for all those times, I tried to argue and reason out. My life isn’t boring just because you have no idea how I am living it. Ofcourse I never said that, but I was so sure that they are only thinking that my life’s boring because they got no clue. I am not obliged to let them know how I am enjoying my life. They are not meant to judge whatever I do in the weekend. It is none of their business and it is absolutely so rude of them to tell me that my life is a lot less enjoyable than theirs. I was holding on to that thought – until someone very close to me told me that. So right now, I am quite convinced that I am living an extremely boring life. And I am both pissed and sad to slowly realize that everyone who’s telling me that I lead a boring life, could be right. Continue reading Am I Leading A Boring Life?

Adulthood & Being Lost

Months ago, I mentioned in a post that I am quite disappointed with how myself turned out, and one blogger made it clear to me – I am still young, and I have to calm down because I am not meant to figure out everything yet.

He’s right, and I smiled the moment I read that comment. Since that was comforting, I got on with my life, keeping in mind that on my early twenties, I am not meant to already be at the peak of my career. I need more time. However, I guess this is what social media does to most people – it shows the happiest scenes, making it appear like everyone else’s life is a hundred times better from my point of view. I stopped posting for months and a few friends from college already started wondering where I have gone to and what caused my absence. Instead of asking “How are you?”, the question that I get asked the most is “Where are you working?” “How come I no longer see instagrammable shots from you?” Was the pressure that high even before social media was a thing?

Continue reading Adulthood & Being Lost