Another one flew abroad, another is getting married and another one got a stable job. As much as social media turned us into trendy and brave individuals, it continuously gave us a view of a much greener pasture. Everyone else’s lives are a hundred times better than yours. You finally went out of town, but everyone else flew out of the country. You finally got your degree, but everyone did it with flying colors and a much better story. “I finally did this and finally did that.” A huge accomplishment, but people will point out that 7 kilometers away, someone else did it better. Continue reading Distorted Thoughts
My thoughts are sacred and so is my self. So i locked my thoughts inside my head, and everything that tried to escape, ended up in journal entries. I am sacred, and to prove that, i need my reputation intact. I need people to think of me as this and that, and kept what i thought was embarassing deep within. Others call it denial, i call it anxiety. When i was inlove i suggested heartbreak in social media. Love quotes were all cliche and posting our moments were all too mainstream. They said i was in denial with what i truly feel. I was in love yet too afraid to tell people that i have finally let my guard down. However, i still think its anxiety. I suggested heartbreak on social media because i was preparing myself for our end. All those times we were happy, our end lingers in my head. I never wanted to post photos about us because i was afraid that when we end, it will be too embarassing to take down. People will be asking what happened, i will feel like i owe them explanations, and i am afraid of breaking down in the midst of telling the tale of how we ended.
It was just a week after i watched 13 reasons why, and just 2 days after you told me you’d rather die. When you called me up two days ago, i was the one wounded and cheated on, but still, i soothed you.